Sunday, December 26, 2010

i was here

i love the week between christmas and new year's day.  there's a magical pull to the future while looking back with gratitude and (mostly) satisfaction.  how do you acknowlege this transition? 

i do it with 'standing here' self-portraits.  i try to take at least one per month and really enjoy looking back at the places i've been and the space i inhabited.  some of them are fun and flighty and some really put me back in the emotion of that moment.

this year my feet touched both solid ground and undulating funhouse floors.  i slipped a few times and had to call at least one time-out to lie down; but mostly i stood confidently facing all the love, regret, beauty, acceptance, rejection, grace and fear.

some of the best places i stood in 2010:
  • my home.  the home that loves me.
  • my garden.  day or night, sun or stars, flora or snow, she always whispers, "do it."
  • the cold pacific, who welcomed me home to california.
  • the warm atlantic, who showed me i could stand solid even with shifting sand beneath my feet.
  • bikram yoga class.
  • with the most beautiful, talented, graceful women.  feeling like i belonged.
  • at the door.  the same door i hovered around throughout 2009.  i'm still standing here wondering what's on the other side, trying to plan for all the possibilities and pitfalls.  i am slowly moving toward courage and away from the misconception that i can tip one toe into the unknown while the other foot holds firm in the certain.
thank you for standing with me.  where should we go in 2011?