Saturday, April 14, 2012

beautiful buys

lately i've been thinking about indulgence.

i was raised in a very thrifty home.  both of my parents grew up in systems of lack and even though they were both well-salaried professionals, our family's finances were kept strict.  this often left me feel wanting.

once i started making my own money, i splurged on things i wanted.  often to the point of debt.  my indulgences--clothes, shoes, handbags, art, food--pleased me instantaniously.  but the fullness lasted only a short while.  there was always more more more to have.  *having* is very important to me.

i make a decent salary--even though we haven't received a raise in five years due to the economy.  but my job leeches precious energy from my body and my soul and i find myself pondering its worth.  i've secretly been in training the last few months, preparing for work that pays less in money and more in karma and love.  i don't know what that looks like yet.

my training involves making sure my purchases feed me brilliantly and don't end up in the goodwill pile like my impulse buys in the past.

here are some lovely things i bought today:
  • one ten-pump soy chai latte ($5)
  • gerber daisies ($12)
  • a bicycle basket made from wood ($30)
  • quinoa polenta ($4)
  • one bundle pencil-thin organic asparagus ($2)
  • a wee fig tree ($11)
  • a vintage bow-and-arrow brooch ($2)
each of these purchases made me smile in sweet fulfillment rather than giddy hunger. the spending feels balanced and calm, not wasteful and impulsive.  i will never be (nor do i desire to be) a coupon-cutting pennysaver, but i've come a long way.  not only do i *have* these beautiful things, i *have* a beautiful sense of abundance and freedom.