for the six weeks since i left my job i've been in a sort of haze. a haze of relief and freedom for sure, but also a fuzzy existence that i can only describe as recovery. i've slept hard for hours at night and during the day. i've gone days without speaking to a human other than ken. i've literally shuddered when i let my mind drift to what i would be doing at work if i had stayed. it's bizarre to experience these types of things when you are happy and not depressed. the last few days marked a turning point. i've had more pure energy, needed less naps and felt happy to engage with others. i feel ready to veer from the language of leaving (quit, detox, trauma, worry, impulsive, mistake, spoiled, etc.) to the language of moving forward.
in that vein, i'm saying yes. yes yes yes. affirmative. okey-dokey. wide open.
i say yes to
- magical thinking
- pho
- mountain trails
- rock hopping
- rock leaping
- going barefoot
- working for a few days in a candy-colored store full of things that make me want to be healthy and vibrant
- teaching
- taking risks
- writing it all down
- laughter and happiness without the fear of what will bring it all to a crashing halt
- creating the life i want
- firewalking (next week!)
- changing my mind
- love
