a golden lotus lamp hangs upside down over the dining room table and illuminates the space. sometimes i sit here in the soft focus of the early morning light, just before the sun peeks over the east side treeline and floods every corner of this room with brightness. i just sit. and in a practice of gratitude i take it all in, the mental inventory of goodness and abundance, of all the needs met. i whisper thank yous and recognize the incomprehension of how this all happened and quickly swallow that always-present chaser of enjoy-it-while-you-can-because-things-can-change-at-any-second, that tastes somewhat like unworthiness.
