soul food: brainberry ice cream

i heavily relied on nutrition to support my recovery from panic attacks, insomnia, and severe anxiety.  and while i moderately enjoy tolerate my morning green smoothie with kale and mushroom powder, i wanted to find ways i could boost the mood power of yummy comfort food too.  as serendipity would have it, this daydream coincided with blueberry season.

so i concocted a mental health-boosting ice cream.

we all know that blueberries are the o.g. superfood: high in vitamins, low in calories, anti-inflammatory, antioxidant.  turns out that antioxidant mojo can actually clean our mental pathways, sweeping away debris that would otherwise interfere with healthy brain functioning.  blueberries have also been shown to increase the levels of serotonin in the brain which may help alleviate depression, especially in trauma survivors.  blueberries are also an excellent food to help lower high blood pressure, which for some can co-occur with or be a precursor for anxiety.

three brain-friendly plants provide extra emotional support here.  lemon balm calms the mind and helps relieve stress and anxiety.  holy basil (or tulsi) is an adaptogenic herb that can help regulate cortisol levels (adaptogens act differently in humans, depending on the need).  the scent of lavender is well-known for its ability to help us relax.

raw honey is used in place of sugar in this recipe.  in ayurvedic medicine honey is used to increase feelings of emotional and mental balance.

if you add chopped walnuts (either in the ice cream itself or as a topping), your brain is supported even more by the nuts' magnesium and omega 3 fat.

i'm not a nutritionist so i have no idea if the amount of these foods in the ice cream reach therapeutic levels, and i don't even care because it is just so good. it is sweet and tart and floral and delicious.   

any time i make homemade ice cream i'm reminded of summer cookouts with my family and friends.  it takes me right back to being perched on the edge of the pool, wrapped in a towel, feet dangling in the water, eating the amazing vanilla homemade ice cream my mom and dad used to make.  it makes me feel better.  i am a believer that food can help us heal from all sorts of human maladies.

* * * * * 

brainberry ice cream
makes roughly 6 servings

1 1/3 cups organic whole milk
1 1/3 cups organic heavy cream
3/4 cups local raw honey
2 tbsp. lavender blossoms
1 tbsp. lemon balm leaves
1 tbsp. holy basil (tulsi) leaves
zest of one lemon
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
small pinch of salt
1 egg, separated
1 cup blueberries (fresh or roasted--fresh will give you an icy bite, roasting for a few minutes will soften the berries and give you a purple-blue ice cream)
1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts (optional)

1. in a medium saucepan combine the milk, heavy cream, and honey. heat until well combined and warmed through. remove from heat and toss in the lavender, lemon balm, holy basil, and lemon zest to steep. stir in vanilla and the pinch of salt.
2. chill the base for at least 8 hours, or overnight.
3. when you are ready to complete the recipe, strain the cream base.  separate the egg and beat egg white until stiff. gently fold into the egg yolk, then fold this into the (strained) cream base. churn according to your machine's instructions.  add the blueberries (allow to chill if roasted) and the walnuts (if you are mixing them in the ice cream) in the last five minutes of the churn.
4. transfer into a freezer-safe container, and allow to freeze  for 2-4 hours.

* * * * *

i hope you make this ice cream and it makes you feel better.  please don't confuse this post and recipe with good, sound medical advice.  if you are suffering from anxiety, depression, or any other mental or emotional challenge, please consult your doctor, naturopath, therapist, or nutritionist.

patience, process, progress, peace

{day four of the sand mandala}

when i was a child our family car was a source of embarrassment for me.  it was a huge lumbering brown cadillac with an 8-track player and four very large doors.  that wasn't the embarrassing part.  my mom put a bumper sticker on the back that read, "please be patient god isn't finished with me yet", complete with cartoon person in all her hapless happy glory.  i despised that cartoon person's inability (or intention) to get with the program.  in a counter-intuitive way, this bumper sticker may be the foundation of my lifelong issues with perfectionism.

yesterday i sat again in the peace of the college's chapel and watched the monks quietly at work on the sand mandala. and i started thinking about progress and how it never seems to unfold or look like you thought it would.  

eighteen months ago, i became a vegetarian for the third time in my life.  this time around the decision was made because of mostly ethical reasons.  i could not in good conscious eat animals when i loved them so much.  and i wanted to feel some political power in a world where i feel mostly politically powerless by saying no to inhumane and unhealthy food processing.  i felt really really good about this decision and was very proud of myself.

in the last few months, i was surprised by the increasing frequency of cravings for animal product in conjunction with really low energy.  i tried upping my intake of plant-based iron and protein and increasing my b12 supplementation.  to no avail.  also, as with the other times i was vegetarian, there was the slow weight gain.

i slowly added more eggs into my diet.  then fish once a week.  i witnessed that i felt much more whole on the days i ate fish.  last month, i totally caved and ate a hamburger (an organic hamburger from a local humane source).  i was amazed at the almost instant response in my body.  i can only think of the word wholeness to describe it.

but while i felt whole, i also felt shame.  and disappointment in myself for not being disciplined, clean, ethical, etc.  i thought maybe it was a phase and i could go on identifying as a vegetarian (an identity that i love).  but deep down i knew that this was a connection i was going to have to let go.  my body told me so.

so now what am i?  conscious meat-eater?  locavore?

maybe i am just a girl paying attention to her body and her needs and all the other junk that comes with that is part of the process.  by maintaining awareness, witnessing my own process, being patient and remaining open to how things unfold, i can be in progress without being that "unfinished" hapless cartoon person on the back of the cadillac.

i am really looking for peace, not perfection.

soul salad {№4}: rainbow caprese

this, my friends, is summer in a bowl.

start with tomatoes that look like they could have been purchased from the gumball machine at the five and dime.  mine are organic cherry tomatoes from my favorite local farm, sandyfoot farm.

add fresh mozzarella balls, or bocconcini.  these are marinated in olive oil and herbs.

top with gorgeous fresh basil from an organic garden (or your organic supermarket).  i like to leave the leaves whole.

splash with really good balsamic vinegar and season with sea salt and course ground pepper.  stir.

 devour.

soul salad {№3}: i heart india

this salad is inspired by my love of all things india.  it's based on one of my favorites, aloo posto:  spicy potatoes with poppy seeds.   also, ever since fresh pressed turmeric juice cured my nasty sore throat in nyc last month, i'm putting turmeric in everything.  read about it's mojo here.

every main ingredient in this salad with the exception of the pistachios and the poppy seeds was either grown in my garden or purchased at the farmer's market.

i heart india salad

• five medium potatoes, diced, spiced and roasted
• one cucumber, diced
• one-half purple onion, diced
• one cup fresh herbs (i used parsley and dill)
• red wine vinaigrette
• pistachios
• poppy seeds, a few pinches

dice the potatoes, toss in olive oil and liberally sprinkle with turmeric, chili powder, salt and pepper.  roast at 375 degrees for about 25 minutes.  i prefer roasted potatoes to boiled for potato salads; they have more flavor and it cuts way down on the need for vinaigrette or mayonnaise.  let cool a bit and then toss in a bowl with the cucumber, onion, herbs and poppy seeds.  sprinkle with red wine vinaigrette.  garnish with chopped pistachios.

it's kind of bold and amazing.

five things i love about india:

1. color everywhere
2. hindu gods and goddesses
3. the incredible spirit of the children
4. kheer and chai
5. (i know it's not true, but) i imagine the air is scented with cardamom and patchouli

soul salad {№2}: crimson and clover

my grandma dee was a bit of a wild child even in old age.  i remember sitting in her kitchen next to the metal fan (the only cool place in the house), looking up from my book to watch her in her garden through the lace-veiled window.  she carried a giant basket through the rows, gathering goodness nurtured and warmed by the california sun.  i would blush a bit when she would squat down and eat right out of the ground, worried that someone would see her (although the nearest neighbors were blocks away).  she would swing her long black and grey apache braid out of the way and just pop a bean in her mouth or a bit of greens, sometimes even flowers and grass.  i would definitely cringe when she would pull a giant bloodred beet from the soil and take a bite.  i despised beets and could not imagine why someone would want to eat them, especially uncooked and covered in dirt.

turns out, i'm beginning to live much like dee and appreciate the things she loved.  you could say that i am embracing my genetic quirkiness.  i even like beets now.  i love them juiced, roasted and once even took a bite of raw.

this salad pays homage to dee:  roasted beets, greens and flowers.

crimson and clover salad

• two beets, roasted and cut into small cubes
• red leaf lettuce
• arugula
• radicchio
• goat cheese, crumbled
• walnuts, chopped
• clover flowers*
• garnish with mint, bee balm petals*, finely diced beet stalk and finely diced dried cranberries
• beet and balsamic vinaigrette

i roast the two whole beets wrapped in foil at 400 degrees for about 50 minutes.  let them cool enough to handle and then they peel so easily.  cut into cubes and sprinkle with a bit of balsamic vinegar while still warm.  set aside.

build a salad with the lettuce, arugula and radicchio.  lift the beets to strain (reserving the balsamic vinegar and beet juice, now mingled into the most magic of liquids) and top the greens.  crumble goat cheese, walnuts and clover flowers.  dress with the vinaigrette and garnish.

*clover and bee balm are edible; just make sure you pick them from an organic garden.

to make the vinaigrette:  mix together equal parts extra virgin olive oil and beet juice and balsamic vinegar magic liquid with salt and pepper to taste.

grandma dee is smiling.

and also would like it very much if you ate this outside in the sunshine.  preferably in the same spot where you picked the flowers.  with dogs.  and dirt.

soul salad {№1}: thai mango

i'm challenging myself to make one new salad each week to get out of my arugula-and-goat-cheese rut.

while in manhattan last month, i ate thai food like every other day.  the abundance of amazing thai cuisine in the city is overwhelming.  i was particularly fond of the mango salad or yum ma-muang at aura / zoob zib in hell's kitchen.

we have two thai restaurants back home in the 'burg.  both make a decent pad thai, but neither makes papaya or mango salad.  so i made my own version at home sans shrimp.  it's a gorgeous color burst of flavor:  the mango is sweet, the avocado is buttery and the dressing is (super!) spicy.  mangoes are quite challenging to julienne; i think mine were transitioning from green to ripe and they were a little hard to handle.  says the girl with two bandaged fingers.

thai green mango salad 

• two green mangoes, julienned (they need to be firm, not yet ripe; you might not need two if you are more skilled with the knife than i.  aura puts the mango through a pasta cutter set to spaghetti instead of the julienne.  mango noodles!)
• 1/4 red pepper, diced
• 1/4 purple onion (i used the last of my pickled onions from last week)
• fresh cilantro to taste (i like a lot)
• fresh basil to taste
• one avocado, sliced
• cashews, toasted

the dressing

• juice of one lime
• one tablespoon fish sauce (i used vegetarian fish sauce that i purchased in nyc)
• one tablespoon sugar
• 1/2 thai chili, seeded and finely diced
• pinch of red pepper flakes

combine mango, red pepper, onions and cilantro and set aside.  mix dressing ingredients in a jar and shake well.  dress mango salad lightly.  slice or dice avocado and top salad or mix in.  garnish with basil ribbons and cashews.  

colorful food just makes me so happy.

i've been playing around with making cocktails with my home brewed kombucha, since i always seem to have a lot on hand.  i love this one in particular.  

i call it the lotus.

• 1/2 lime, sliced and muddled with a bit of sugar in the glass
• pour one inch st. germain elderflower liqueur
• add crushed ice (i have a hand crank ice crusher and was summer-afternoon-lazy, so cubes are pictured above.  crushed is better.)
• fill to top with lavender kombucha (hibiscus would work nicely too)
• garnish with edible flowers

possibly a little over the top with the flowers but so so good!