patience, process, progress, peace

{day four of the sand mandala}

when i was a child our family car was a source of embarrassment for me.  it was a huge lumbering brown cadillac with an 8-track player and four very large doors.  that wasn't the embarrassing part.  my mom put a bumper sticker on the back that read, "please be patient god isn't finished with me yet", complete with cartoon person in all her hapless happy glory.  i despised that cartoon person's inability (or intention) to get with the program.  in a counter-intuitive way, this bumper sticker may be the foundation of my lifelong issues with perfectionism.

yesterday i sat again in the peace of the college's chapel and watched the monks quietly at work on the sand mandala. and i started thinking about progress and how it never seems to unfold or look like you thought it would.  

eighteen months ago, i became a vegetarian for the third time in my life.  this time around the decision was made because of mostly ethical reasons.  i could not in good conscious eat animals when i loved them so much.  and i wanted to feel some political power in a world where i feel mostly politically powerless by saying no to inhumane and unhealthy food processing.  i felt really really good about this decision and was very proud of myself.

in the last few months, i was surprised by the increasing frequency of cravings for animal product in conjunction with really low energy.  i tried upping my intake of plant-based iron and protein and increasing my b12 supplementation.  to no avail.  also, as with the other times i was vegetarian, there was the slow weight gain.

i slowly added more eggs into my diet.  then fish once a week.  i witnessed that i felt much more whole on the days i ate fish.  last month, i totally caved and ate a hamburger (an organic hamburger from a local humane source).  i was amazed at the almost instant response in my body.  i can only think of the word wholeness to describe it.

but while i felt whole, i also felt shame.  and disappointment in myself for not being disciplined, clean, ethical, etc.  i thought maybe it was a phase and i could go on identifying as a vegetarian (an identity that i love).  but deep down i knew that this was a connection i was going to have to let go.  my body told me so.

so now what am i?  conscious meat-eater?  locavore?

maybe i am just a girl paying attention to her body and her needs and all the other junk that comes with that is part of the process.  by maintaining awareness, witnessing my own process, being patient and remaining open to how things unfold, i can be in progress without being that "unfinished" hapless cartoon person on the back of the cadillac.

i am really looking for peace, not perfection.

spring clean

april.  it's the month when we all want to shed the emotional and physical heaviness of winter.  nature is telling us to start anew and we are listening.

it's the month when i can easily get discouraged that despite an organic, plant-based diet, i'm still overweight.  (i get it universe, my body will never be lithe, but seriously why is it that the more i move toward body acceptance, the fatter i get?  ugh...)

it's the month when i realize that every year i really take that whole winter-rest-and-hibernate thing a bit too seriously and i need to jumpstart my activity level.  gorgeous mountain trails are calling my name.

it's the month to spring clean our homes; the physical structures we inhabit and the flesh and blood bodies that house our spirits.  it's time to release the grime and create clean space for new experiences. it's time to reset.

the components of a good (spirit house) cleaning:

• clean day salad (pictured above and recipe below).  honestly, it is so so good.
• green juice with a tablespoon of superfood (daily)
• rainbow quinoa
• lots of filtered water
• kombucha and yogi tea skin detox tea
• coconut oil-pull daily (in addition to incredible detox benefits, this also helps keep sinuses clear)
• nightly skin brush and salt bath
• gentle yoga
• walks outside
• deep breathing
• good deep sleep

clean day salad
(based on whole foods' detox salad)

two cups organic kale leaves (de-stem and roughly chop)
three or four organic carrots (rough chop)
one bunch organic parsley leaves (some stem is okay)
zest of one lemon (always use organic citrus if you are zesting)
juice of half lemon
one-half cup sunflower seeds (or chopped pepitas)
one-half cup organic raisins
one cup organic dried blueberries, cranberries or goji berries (or mix)
one tablespoon olive oil
one teaspoon kelp granules or dulse
chia seeds

pulse greens and carrots in food processor to the size of confetti, careful not to make a pesto of it.  mix all ingredients together except for the chia seeds.  sprinkle a half teaspoon of chia seed on each serving just prior to enjoying (if you mix the chia into the salad and let it sit, it will absorb the moisture in the salad and get a bit gel-ish).

i pulverize the remainder of the parsley leaves and stems and add a spoon to the pups' food daily.  they love it.

i feel sparkly and new just writing this post.  happy cleaning!

sprouted

hooray!  the beans have sprouted and are really to eat.  just in time:  i need more protein.

(you know they are ready when they make a break for it through the cheesecloth.)

an extra whollop of protein and energy added to falafel with tzatziki.

spring sprouting::three ways

sprouting №1:  to eat

when i was a girl, our kitchen window sill always had one or two jelly jars with a giant avocado pit suspended above water, held at the rim of the jar by toothpicks.  as the days went by, a sprout would emerge to form the beginning of an avocado tree.  we had several planted around the yard.  the california sun pretty much guaranteed the production of luscious avocados.  

we are not so lucky (with avocados) in virginia.

so i am playing homage to the giant pit of green perfection of my childhood by sprouting on a smaller scale.  adzuki beans, chickpeas, green peas and mung beans will sprout delightfully nutritious sprouts to eat on the fly or throw into a wrap or on a veggie burger.

rinse your beans and let soak overnight.  rinse twice more and drain.  measure one-half cup of plumped and cleaned beans into a jar.  cover with a double or triple layer of cheesecloth and secure with elastic bands.  each morning, fill the jar with water to give the beans a nice shower and drink.  drain off the water through the cheesecloth and give your jar a nice couple of shakes.  in a few days, sprouts will emerge.  continue with the daily shower-shake.  when your sprouts are about two inches, you can eat them.  remove them from their jars and store in a glass container in the fridge for up to one week.

talk about nourishment straight from the source.

sprouting №2:  to grow

this year, i'm starting plants for the karma garden from seed.  i chose organic, non-gmo heirloom seeds and am starting them in organic, sustainable mix.  added eco-bonus-points:  toilet paper rolls as tiny pots.

i am so excited about these two especially:  purple carrots and green zebra tomatoes (who did not do so well last year).

i'm making tiny flags for them.  i did not mark my plants very well in the garden last year and i think we "weeded" a lot of good stuff.  while we are getting better at identifying our plants, we still need a little help.

once planted, these little guys need to be kept moist and under grow lights.  in my opinion this is the perfect excuse to buy that child's blue elephant watering can i've been eyeing.  :)

sprouting №3:  me

this spring, i am metaphorically germinating:

• trail running
• a bigger organic garden plot (if we decide to do it on our land instead of the college's organic garden, it will need to be in the front yard because the back is too shaded with the forest.  this is a big move and a big statement.)
• more yoga
• nyc
• leaning into the gypsiness of my travelling job
• making each trip an adventure
• making each day an adventure

around here

there are spiritual conventions in the rarely-used upstairs fireplace-turned-alter.

there is avoiding work by drawing and coloring quirky little scandinavian flowers.

and there is the revelation that taking some time to do art leads to better, peaceful, more creative work.

there are many tea times during the day.  and sometimes espresso.

there is experimenting with vegan tuna salad.

because i really miss tuna salad.

this turned out eerily similar in taste and texture to the real thing.  rinse and drain a can of chickpeas and pulverize in the food processor.  sprinkle with kelp granules or sea kelp delight to add lots of healthy minerals and the taste of the ocean.  then just add your regular tuna salad ingredients.  i used vegan mayo, whole grain mustard, red onion, celery, sweet relish, capers and dill.  it's fantastic.

there is silence.

and thinking.

and dreaming.

and napping.

there is alchemy:  mixing essential oils to create an amazing fragrance.  the recipe was gifted to me by a dear friend who appreciates that i like to smell like campfire, coffee, jasmine and oranges.

there is art.

so far, february is pretty awesome.

picnic {№12}

first picnic of the season! 

a gorgeous afternoon spent with beautiful souls from our bikram yoga studio.  it was great to spend time with everyone and somewhat surreal to not be drenched with sweat and have (normal) clothes on. 

things you probably only eat at a yoga picnic:  flowers and leaves. 

i tried the clover, blackberry flowers, snakeberries, sorrel, dandelion and chickweed.  talk about advanced-level greens eating.  they were surprisingly delicious and i would eat most of them again.

this was my first picnic as a vegetarian.  i had a yummy boca burger and there were plenty of gorgeous salads to choose from. 

happy people.

hello friend.

yum.

dinner perfection

good♥food

(actually, it's dairy-free monday, but that doesn't read as well.)

on this little journey to plant-based eating (i've been vegetarian, nearly vegan for four weeks!), i've remained almost dairy-free.  i gave in to a couple cheese cravings until meg introduced me to a truly wonderful vegan cheese.  i've also missed the creamy feel of ice cream and kheer. 

the other day, a friend shared this post about chia seeds.  i've been sprinkling my salads with chia seeds for a few months and never thought about making a pudding with them.  i followed the basic instructions in the post and played around with some chai spices to try to get that indian rice pudding feel and taste. 

et voila:  chia chai indian pudding!

{1}  soak a chai tea bag in one cup of coconut milk for a few hours (i accidentally--or serendipitously--got the vanilla coconut milk and it worked perfectly).  remove the tea bag after a few hours.

{2}  crush three cardamom pods to release their goodness and put in the milk.  add three whole cloves.  stir in 1/8 teaspoon of rose water (this is optional, but it really gives it that true kheer taste). 

{3}  measure four tablespoons of chia seeds and stir in to the milk.

{4}  put in an airtight glass container and refrigerate overnight.

{5}  the next day, your chia seeds will have plumped up with all the milky chai-ness to resemble a rice pudding.

{6}  sweeten with honey or agave nectar.  chopped pistachios would be awesome too.

so here's the thing:  it's a bit gel-ish, not quite as tapioca-like as the article suggests.  but once i tasted it, i forgave it its weird texture and unfortunate grey color.  it's amazing!  i had a wee portion of the dish and i was full for hours.

the organic garden

behind the campus of randolph college, where my husband teaches (me too, every other year), a group of students started a community garden.  this year ken surprised me with our own little four-foot-by-ten-foot plot.  on saturday we spent a few hours clearing out our little space and dreaming about what we wanted to plant.

new young chickens arrived a few weeks ago.  these are ameraucana birds, who lay the lovely teal-colored eggs.  we can get all of our eggs from the garden.  they are totally organic.  and we can express our gratitude to the chickens.  good food karma.

several students spend their saturday afternoons helping out around the garden.  sweet kay came over to lend a hand with our weeding.

there are fruit trees too.  the peach trees are in bloom.  they are so bright, the air surrounding them is almost tinted pink.

the ducks roam free between the plots.  there are several ponds where they splash around and engage in duck shenanigans.

our plot is on a terraced slope, with a view of the chicken houses.  the bees buzz around their hives behind the chickens.

it is such a beautiful place to make friends, enjoy some peace and grow good food.  children chase the ducks as their parents work side by side with students from around the world.  there is a meeting space off to the side.  i've heard stories of gatherings around the bonfire after hours of hard work, coming together to talk and celebrate the garden and all of its gifts.

einstein is the boss of the chicken house.  he's quite handsome, don't you agree?

we feel so lucky to have this space.  our home sits in a forest of trees and is too shaded to grow vegetables.  i'm looking forward to the goodness to come this summer.

good♥food

about a year ago, i ran across the website for meatless monday.  i thought it was a totally doable gig, so i jumped on board.  pop over a have a look.  the basic idea is to eat meat free for just one day a week.  the benefits to your body and the planet for this small step are ginormous.

also, meat free is prettier:

over the last few months, my meat free days have expanded somewhat naturally.  really, i may not have noticed how little meat i was eating until i did my health history for my coach.  in addition to my work with meg, a few things happened in the last month that renewed my committment to eating cleaner and in a more humane way.  the first thing was that i watched the movie food, inc.  within the same week, i was driving down the highway and was passed by a semi carrying hundreds of cages of turkeys.  the truck was on my left and kind of road alongside me for a bit.  the cages were completely open to the air, feathers flying everywhere.  one of the turkeys had poked his head out the cage and his head was being whipped around by the wind and the high speed of the truck.  he was unable to pull his head back in.  i watched in horror as his head and neck banged against the cage and he died a horrific death.

i love all animals.  and i love my body.  it's time for me to start living like this is the truth. 

this was supposed to be a post about the chipotle sweet pototoes but i thought you would appreciate some story behind the dish.  here's the deets on this amazing meat free mexican meal:

chipotle sweet potatoes
two sweet potatoes, peeled and diced
one can black beans, rinsed
pico de gallo
one chili and one tbsp adobo from chipotle in adobo, finely diced
a bit of cheese of your choice
avocado
pepitas
cilantro

mix diced chipotle and adobo sauce with diced sweet potatoes and one tbsp olive oil.  roast at 400 degrees for about 30 minutes or until crisp.

mix roasted sweet potatoes with black beans and pico de gallo.  top with cheese, diced avocado, toasted pepitas and cilantro.

so easy.  so good.

redefining sweet

it's been about a month since i cut back on sugar, dairy, meat and wheat.  i'm crowding out these foods, replacing them with luscious greens, nut milk, juices, quinoa, fruits and veggies.  so far, so good.

on wednesday, i photographed this beautiful cupcake and then promptly, without thinking, peeled back the paper and took a bite.  the sweetness overwhelmed me.  and not in a good way.  it seems that my mouth, as the official gatekeeper of all things that nourish my body, is developing a new protocol for what is sweet.

i was not expecting this sudden of a turnaround.  and a part of me doesn't fully trust that is indeed a turnaround.  but holy whole foods, i'm going to go with it!  because i've always dreamed of being that girl who really doesn't really care for sugared up food and who can't get enough of all that feeds her in a true and healthy way.