five senses friday

I'm all about the senses this week. Sometimes I find myself not paying attention, not living in awareness, and that is my worst fear: to get to the end of life without really experiencing it. if you're an unraveling alumni, susannah has a class set for autumn centered around exploring the senses. I cannot WAIT!!! in preparation, I'm reading this book for the bazillionth time. it never gets old. in fact, I read it a new way each time. it's probably my all time favorite book. I'm inspired to pay close attention, to live my days noticing and celebrating sensual pleasures, both tiny and grand.

{see}

• under the glow of the moroccan lantern, late dinners are lingered over and we speak softly and romantically.
• I can't stop reading this list. so inspiring.

{hear}

• the sound of ken's voice as he reads lines in preparation for opening night (tonight!)...the rise and fall, the emotion, the sadness. he's such a contented person in real life and to hear him express a rich range of melancholy assures me that he is so talented.
• the sound of my own voice as I was able to tell every single one of my staff during performance evaluations that they are doing an awesome job, that I am proud. I had to give no negative evaluations (a first in my three years as supervisor!). I am over the moon with pride for the work they do!

{smell}

• I love to sit outside at night. sometimes I light candles. as much as I appreciate their flickering light, my favorite part is when I blow them out. I love the smell of smoke and sulfur mingling in the heavy night air.

{touch}

• the lightness of summer's linen, cotton, tissue tees and silk make me realize how protected I feel in winter. I'm walking through my days with a slight anxiety of exposure. and it's okay.

{taste}

• the berries! my favorite fruit! I'm having them on everything: cereal, yogurt, salads. love.
  

I love abby's idea to record weekly sensual pleasures on fridays. how 'bout we make it a five senses summer? read the book, loves. you won't regret it.

soggy + hopeful

jeez, it's been raining for about three days straight now. and it's that slow, uncommitted kind of rain. the kind of rain that can't be inspired enough to have even one moment of energy or storminess. lazy rain.

yesterday I dove a bit too deep into painful memories for unravelling despite the gentle warnings from our guide to take it slow and easy. so now I'm all restless and jumping out of my skin. I long to get out into sunshine and brightness. but all that's out there is that slow uncommitted lackluster lazy rain.

I reread my post from yesterday to remind myself of my position that I was okay spending time with some of these assignments. it seemed so much more natural and happy yesterday. I think the rain is telling me that there is no better place for me to be right now. there isn't a stronger alternative pulling me away from these things that are dark and heavy and impatient from the years I have successfully avoided looking at them.

the sunshine will arrive soon. it always does. sunshine is like that: dependable, committed, smart enough to know when to take a break so a certain girl can resolve a few things.

unravel + reveal

so I'm currently loving the e-course unravelling. normally when I participate in long term (and for me, that means more than one session) groups or projects, I become bored quickly and eager to move on (yeah, that whole impulsive thingy-ma-jig I got going on). but dear susannah has a knack for this whole self-discovery leadership role she's brilliantly moved in to. the assignments are perfectly paced and just enough to engage and provoke without being all dr. freud or mary starshine. then there are the fellow unravellers: the support and enthusiasm in this diverse group is genuine. add to all this the benefit of practicing photography, writing and other artistic mediums and we have got a winner ladies and gentlemen.

we're halfway through and I'm intrigued by my tendency to represent the positive in photos and save the dark bits for my writing. I also must say that I feel a shift in myself that is good and solid and true. and contrary to my regular speedy style, I feel the need to sit here a while and soak it all up. I want to say to you, if you are not currently unravelling, please visit susannah and explore the possibilities.

if you'd like, you can see my evolving flickr set for the group here.