Sunday, March 15, 2009

soggy + hopeful

jeez, it's been raining for about three days straight now. and it's that slow, uncommitted kind of rain. the kind of rain that can't be inspired enough to have even one moment of energy or storminess. lazy rain.

yesterday I dove a bit too deep into painful memories for unravelling despite the gentle warnings from our guide to take it slow and easy. so now I'm all restless and jumping out of my skin. I long to get out into sunshine and brightness. but all that's out there is that slow uncommitted lackluster lazy rain.

I reread my post from yesterday to remind myself of my position that I was okay spending time with some of these assignments. it seemed so much more natural and happy yesterday. I think the rain is telling me that there is no better place for me to be right now. there isn't a stronger alternative pulling me away from these things that are dark and heavy and impatient from the years I have successfully avoided looking at them.

the sunshine will arrive soon. it always does. sunshine is like that: dependable, committed, smart enough to know when to take a break so a certain girl can resolve a few things.