i'm stalled at a place of transition between vacation and real life. each time i journey home to california, it becomes more difficult to reintegrate into the life i have here in virginia. i've been thinking about this for the last few days. it's not that i truly want to move back to california, there are just so many things that california represents for me that are mostly absent (or hidden) here. things like openmindedness, diversity, wholeness, health, adventure, limitlessness, truth. while i appreciate the gentleness of the south, the overall culture wears on me and i walk through each day with the awareness of how different and separate i am. it can get lonely. it felt good to walk with californians for a few days.
somehow i have to find a way to blend who i am as a native californian with the brighter characteristics of this small southern town. strength with grace. expansiveness with comfort. truth with kindness. equanimity.