when I find myself in the happy place that is the art supply store, my eyes get wild, my heart rate increases slightly and I am overcome with delight as I ask myself over and over again, “what can I make with this?” does this happen to you too? the vast assortment of tools, materials, colors and various forms of goo leave me pulsating with ideas and creative energy. I am quick to acquire these catalysts which I’m certain will become a beautiful bit of love. trouble is, this potential infrequently comes to fruition. the ideas continue to brew, but the material lies dormant in the studio and often forgotten. incomplete.
I had a bit of a dramatic energy shift last week. I’m still working my way through it and trying to establish some footing. I’m at a spot of growth tempered by my own stubborn resistance. you could call if a midlife crisis. although crisis seems too big a word.
what I know is that kismet has come to my rescue over and over again this week. the messages from a variety of sources were clear and undeniable. don’t you love it when this happens? I identified that I feel undone, like an incomplete project, that I have compiled a huge store of tools and supplies gathered over a lifetime and I feel they haven’t yet taken the direction or form I envision. I am a mix of excitement and fear as the question is asked, “what can I make with this?”
the vision of me…who I see myself becoming…can shift over time, but there exists a stable paradigm of who that character is and what she brings to and takes from this world. I’ll have to sort through the raw materials, edits, designs, colors, flavors, nuances and energy to begin to take shape. and work on separating potential from fantasy, which seems to be the ongoing dilemma of my life. yes, there is work to be done. good, creative, artistic work.
*lovely anairam is hosting this week's weekword--time. I've been too preoccupied to come up with an appropriate post. however, as I read this again, it appears it is all about time. and really all my thoughts, musings, dispair and plans this week were focused on time. kismet.