randomness

• it's really hot here this week.  like august hot.  spring was way too short.
• speaking of hot, i totally forgot to mention here that i finished my bikram yoga 30-day challenge.
• i'm addicted to raw pepitas.
• this summer will be the summer i sew something awesome.
• the other day i was flipping through channels and landed on my big fat gypsy wedding.  what the what?  while i was totally interested in the cultural perspective, it made me realize i've greatly romanticized the word gypsy.

happy friday sunshines!

day fifteen: half way there

and feeling incredibly optimistic and grateful.

optimistic about:

• hanging on to enthusiasm
• good health, not good enough health, but good good health
• being closer to the return of the twenty six inch waist

grateful for:

• an able body
• incredible teachers
• a husband who loves me unconditionally (even fat me) and cheers me on every single day of this challenge

day ten: food for thought

yay!  i'm a third of the way through my bikram yoga 30-day challenge.  so far, so good.  i'm learning a lot about yoga, my body, my tolerance level, my monkey mind and the food i put into my body.

on the down side (and when i say "down side", i mean "totally learning to tolerate"):

• tall people:  just because you don't fit on your yoga mat does not mean i have to make myself smaller to accommodate you in the room.
• humidity:  you are my new nemesis.  i am a california girl.  we don't believe in humidity.
• rules:  i never realized how much i adored you until i packed myself into a steaming hot room where a lot of the occupants disregard basic etiquette (talking above a whisper, flinging their sweat on me, putting their not-so-fresh feet on my mat, five used kleenex that blow into my space when the fans come on, etc. etc. etc.). perhaps a large "class rules" poster like in third grade would do?  or a quick check online for bikram yoga etiquette, like on this site.

on the up side (and when i say "up side", i mean "yay for me!"):

• bread:  hello lover.  i've missed you.  who knew i really needed you after all?
• back muscles:  so much lovlier than back fat.
• feet:  i really appreciate you.  thank you for holding me up and helping me balance.  your kind doesn't get enough love in the world.
• coconut water:  thank you for doing double duty because i really don't like plain water and i'm bored with spending half my life peeing.

twenty days to go!!!

day one: the art of leaving your s#*t at the door

i have had a really crappy weekend so far on top of a really crappy work week.  nothing seems to be working or going my way.  i really needed to decompress and relax this weekend.  my dogs are acting like freaking lunatics, interrupting my sleep with non-stop barking and charging through the house like a herd of elephants.  (i tried to spin a story about mayday fairies being super active and that the dogs' sensitivity to this activity is causing them to play with the magical beings that only they can see.  it didn't work.  the dogs are just plain naughty.)  i am craving peace and quiet.  i am getting noise.

in addition, i am really scared about the 30-day challenge.  i had a couple of really hard classes last week and found myself doubting my ability to participate in and complete this project.   even though i know that each class is different and some are hard, some are easy, some are strong, some are beautiful, i find myself stressing out about this commitment. 

so here's my challenge for today and this week and this month:  leave it at the door.  all the insecurities, frustrations, annoyances, anger, fatigue, doubt and fear i am feeling will be flipped off with my shoes as i enter the studio.  any lingering negativity will be exhaled fully in the first bikram exercise, pranayama breathing.

it's one day, one posture at a time.

{nourish}

*

the prompt for this inaugural week of bella's 52 photos project is "nourish".

when i first read the prompt, i got all giddy with plans of photographing luscious images of food.  but the more i thought about it, the thing that has nourished my body and soul the most over the past five months is bikram yoga.

i started doing this challenging class (90 minutes, 105°, 40% humidity) five months ago and now i'm hooked like so many others.

bikram yoga nourishes me in so many ways during class; what i love the most is how what happens in class translates into life outside the very hot room:

• it never gets easier, just better
• there are endless opportunities for awareness, growth and improvement
• the unique relationship with the mirror in a bikram class moves me to previously unknown levels of self-awareness and self-acceptance
• it's true that my body is different every time i walk in the door, this knowledge has brought me to a new understanding of "go with it"
• i greet and dismiss resistance before each and every class, practicing peaceful warfare with this thing that cripples me most in real life
• following directions and relinquishing control and authority is fun
• the only decision i have to make is "try the right way"
• my nemesis posture, ustrasana, the heart-opening camel, has become one of my favorites
• tense does not equal strong
• the gallons of sweat and the many many exhales of breath empty my body, allowing space for health and newness

in may, i am starting a 30-day challenge:  a class a day for thirty days (if i miss a day, i get to do two classes in one day!).  i'll post my progress here.  i'm sure there will be setbacks as well.  i'm a wee bit daunted by this challenge (and the thought of all that laundry!).  but i can't wait to meet the girl staring back at me in the mirror on june 1.

*my classmate isabelle, totally rocking dandayamana-bibhaktapada-paschimotthanasana.