mosaic monday

there's a subtle summer static in the air.  it's making me smile with anticipation.

{flickr artists here.}

walls

yesterday i was in hibernation mode.  even though it was saturday and the weather was lovely, i barely left the house.  i allow these days every once in a while.  when you spend your workweek navigating the chaos of other people's lives, you feel a need to put up some walls and retreat from the human race now and then.  while daydreaming between chapters of island beneath the sea, thoughts of walls, my own history of walls, entered my mind. 

as a child i lived in a little (un-airconditioned) house in california's hot central valley.  the walls were made of stucco.  on summer days when the temperature rose to 106° by mid-morning, i would retreat to my little green room and lie in my little rainbow bed.  i've mentioned before that the memory of lying there in that room, the heady scent of the gardenia bush outside my window perfuming the air, the muffled sounds of lawn mowers and automatic sprinkers in the distance, the gentle cooing of doves in the backyard, serves as my "happy place" to this day.  my bed was pushed up against the wall.  i placed the palm of my hand on the painted stucco.  it was solid and cool; limitlessly soothing and calming.  the sun cast shadows of the shade tree on the opposite wall, a second layer of line and shape on top of the randomness of the stucco strokes.  i could make out scenes in the evolving design, just as one would staring up at the clouds.  the birth of an imagination.

as a young adult, my relationship with walls became less friendly.  my memories here are sporadic due to the sheer number of walls (literal and metaphorical) i lived between during this time.   a renter's walls:  painted the most flat and boring of all shades, any and all artistic expression strictly prohibited by contract.  a spirit cage of navajo white.  some years later, walls smudged with dirt and dents and peeling plaster:  the inhabitant too depressed and uncaring to tend to herself, let alone a home.  those same walls gave way nightly as i startled in the space between asleep and awake, shielding my body from the ceiling that came crashing down upon me.  i owe those walls much gratitude.  their message to me was clear and nonnegotiable:  get out or die.

it's interesting to me that the three walls in my home that i photographed yesterday are each a shade of green, (the kitchen wall being the closest in hue to those loving childhood walls on castro lane), the strong jade green of the bedroom that turns teal during different times of the day is my favorite.   

the walls i live between today are my walls.  they are color and language and art and soul and love.  they are a flower:  sepals and petal and pistil, holding promise and nurturing possibility.  the final lines of james wright's a blessing come to mind: 

suddenly i realize

that if i stepped out of my body i would break

into blossom.

happy weekend

make it bright and beautiful.

thoughts on growing up

the original title for this post was "thoughts on growing older".  i don't know what it says about me that i couldn't bring myself to use that title, but there you go.  at half-way through my 45th year, i still feel (and often act) like a kid. denial is buffering me like a big ol' fluffy feather comforter. 

but i've been forced to shift a bit in the past twelve months.  who knew that your body and mind keep moving ahead while your happy little soul frolics blindly in the land of youth?

here's what i've learned so far:

beware the doomsayers.  yes, dr. n., i am talking to you.  any book or website or show that makes you think just kill me now should be avoided at all costs.  i found that the human development theories are much kinder to the human race when it comes to aging.  

nostaligia is one of the sweetest emotions out there.  you are officially entitled to more of it.

move blocks of your investment portfolio to funky eyewear companies.

explore the idea of the archetype.  this book introduces several:  the lover, the artist, the adventurer, the seeker.  so much better than (gasp!) the crone.  i want to be all of them.  except the crone.

strangely, it becomes easier to take care of your body than when you were 23.  health is everything.

procrastination is a thing of the past.  go on and do it.  now.

it's time to deal with your demons.  and it's really not so bad.  you will win.  watch this dvd. 

smile, you're fabulous.

p.s.  one more thing i love about being 45:  you don't have to pretend to like things like lady gaga just because everybody else does for some reason you totally don't get.

picnic {№4}

as i was rushing out of the office on friday afternoon, eager to dissolve into the weekend, a coworker asked me about my plans.  "oh, really nothing, just relaxing...", i replied.  somehow over the next two days, the "nothing" part was buried in a flurry of activity.  at the end of the day on sunday, i discovered that my weekend was missing some sweet lazy time and it was too late for a proper picnic.  so i improvised.

i lit candles on the backyard patio, just as the sun was making her exit, leaving a sulty twilight in her wake.  ken ran to the corner for chinese takeout.  it was the inaugural event on the table i painted last weekend.

as we sat there enjoying our lo mein, i realized that this is why we put so much effort into having an outdoor space to escape to.  it was right there, easily accesssible, private, quiet, beautiful.

we caught up on each other's weeks and really talked about things that get pushed aside in the rush of everyday life.  like french macarons vs. coconut macaroons (i prefer the first, he the latter.).  and whether our dogs will feel abandoned at the kennel when we go on vacation.  and charles bukowski.  and heaven.

we sat togother in alternating moments of thought, talk, laughter, listening, silence.  we sat there until the first fireflies of the season made their presence known in the little forest behind the house.

i feel blessed and grateful.  i love these moments in life when i have no agenda but to work on my beautiful soul.

i wish you a million beautiful soul moments this week my friends.

rites of passage & color week giftie winner

last night i had the pleasure of photographing a dear friend's daughter's departure for her first prom.  the youthful giddyness was absolutely intoxicating.  and the beauty!  these kids have such a greater handle on health and fitness and style than my generation did.  everyone involved was positively beaming.  the beautiful energy continues to resonate as i move through the images in post-processing. 

here's what i know:  i love capturing moments.  my heart beats a quick happy rhythm during the shoot and while sitting alone at the computer editing.  i love the entire process.  completely.

speaking of my heart:  it is full of gratitude for everyone who participated in color week.  it was grander this year than i could have imagined.  you brought it friends!  i gathered up the names of participants from the blogroll and from the flickr group for a drawing.  debbie, you are the winner!  email me with your address.

i hope each of you has a magnificent sunday! 

i choose rainbow

i tried to do white, i really did.  but i'm just a rainbow kind of girl. 

i'll be around later to see your color goodness.  i hope someone wows me with white or grey.

on sunday, i'll draw a name from all who brought color all six days for a giveaway and announce late sunday or monday.  thank you everyone, it was a blast.  and have a super weekend.

green day

green is pretty abundant around here in spring, so i challenged myself to forego nature shots for this color week challenge.  the green basket of green bokeh is my favorite.  merci, indeed.

happy green friday!

it's purple

yeah i know i'm flirting in the blue range here, but that's the beauty of purple.  can't wait to see all your purples; it's usually the most challenging or the most abundant color.  {please ignore my dodgey pedi!}  happy day friends!

we were all yellow

with just a bit of orange.  it's been grey and gloomy and cold the past few days, so i was looking forward to yellow.

can i just say that i am in love with this color week...the images, the community, discovering new blogs...just love it!  i'm having a crazy week, so i may be a bit delayed in traveling around the block, but i will get there.

and don't forget the flickr group.  it's awesome.

bluesday

authority.

clarity.

creativity.

nourishment.

g+t.

red+pink monday

red and pink and everything in between.  from girly-girl to forminable powerhouse.  your range is astounding.

happy monday color seekers! 

bold is back

hello lovelies.

yesterday i spent the day painting with big bright hues in the brilliant sunshine.  it was a jolting reminder of how connected i am to the boldness, the electricity, the magical transformative power of saturated color.  it's safe to say i've emerged from my pastel-y cocoon.

just in time for color week.

happy weekend

here is what i'll doing for certain:

capturing color

working on a painting project

staying in my own neighborhood to avoid the traffic associated with four college graduations on the same weekend

laundry

working on the crazy-lady-trip-binder for our upcoming journey to san francisco

inhaling the sultry scent of the jasmine and honeysuckle who are magically participating in synchronized blooming in my backyard

here is what i hope i'll fit in:

a petite picnic

two afternoon naps

tivo'd episodes of gossip girl and vampire diaries and oprah and sarah's house

more planting

general weekend lollygagging

what are your plans?

see you on monday for color week!

la palette

eyes akimbo lovelies.  color is everywhere.  color week starts monday but the exploration begins now.  here is the line-up for posting:

monday, may 17th: all shades of reds (including pink)
tuesday, may 18th: all shades of blues
wednesday, may 19th: yellows and/or oranges
thursday, may 20th: purples
friday, may 21st: all shades of greens
saturday, may 22nd: rainbow/multi and/or whites/greys
 
i will put a blogroll for color seekers on my sidebar.  please join the flickr group too. 

click here for the introduction post with some guidelines.  since this an art experience, don't be too concerned with rules.  just show us how you experience the color of the day.
 
and lovelies, there will be a prize.  on sunday the 23rd, i will draw a name from all who participated all six days of color week to receive a giftie.

picnic {№3}

it's all about getting lost on country roads...

taking in stunning virginia landscapes...

making an instinctive right-turn on sweet hollow road to the perfect picnic spot...

part-way under the shade of a majestic oak in a sunny field of grass...

"upscale" hotdogs (grilled apple-chicken sausage on baguette...with mustard, relish, ketsup and potato chip crumbles) and white bean artichoke salad (still working on the food photography; i think it might be impossible to make a hotdog look pretty)...

and a touch of nostalgia...

painting tiny watercolors...

and celebrating our two distinct creative styles.