hello there

so, I haven't done a self portrait in a while. well, in over a month at least. (I can't seem to get anything to work with this month's self portrait challenge theme--upside down.)

this one here is really describing how I feel about my camera and my photography. I like that the canon is front and center, in focus. and there I am, a bit pensive, eyes akimbo for all that beauty, color and quirkiness out there.

nablopomo is kicking my butt. posting every day is challenging and I have complete admiration for those bloggers who do it all the time. so far, so good, but don't be surprised if I serve you more than one day of thanksgiving leftovers.

happy tuesday. go take a self-portrait.

self portrait tuesday

hooray! it's october and the theme over at self portrait challenge is "mirrors". I just had to pull out the old mirror ball again for this challenge and put an autumny twist to it with fallen leaves, brilliant trees and somber lines of little headstones (do you see them?). I'm thinking I want to do a mirror ball selfie for every season. I love the looks I get walking around with the giant thing.

yes, I'm a bit giddy for standing in the middle of a cemetery. here is a more "respectful" shot:

see more delightful, creative mirror self portraits here.

mirror image

october's self-portrait challenge is "mirrors".

I can't seem to play by the rules lately.

p.s. third post today. too much coffee.

self portrait tuesday

so the self portrait challenge for september is "contrast".

sometimes when I am sullen, grey or moody, I feel the need to keep up a cheerful, enthusiastic disposition. I like that, as humans, we can show a contrasting emotion to the rest of the world, no matter what we are really feeling. this prevents pulling the rest of humanity in to our funk. a simple smile or just keeping my mouth shut does it for me. but I have to be careful. kept up too long, this happy charade can result in anger, resentment, or (worst of all) denial.

it's important to be able to experience the down and call a duck a duck. ducks carrying balloons are funny.

permission to shine

"and as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."

-marianne williamson

shine #3, august self portrait challenge shines on

shiny on the inside

I absolutely love this month's self portrait challenge. just focusing on the concept of "get your shine on" has guided me to identify things in my life that are sparkly, shiny, clean and light.

in an effort to be more balanced, I recently returned to yoga and meditation. nothing cleanses the inside self (physically, mentally and emotionally), like these practices. twisting, reaching, focusing, visioning, exhaling, quieting, accepting, releasing, being....these all make for a super shiny spirit.

bright + shiny

the self portrait challenge for august is "get your shine on".

it was so fun playing with the giant mirror ball in different locations around the city on a sunny day. I caused quite a commotion standing in the middle of a field with the ball and my camera. see more self portraits with the mirror ball here and here. later, I thought of the whole sun-reflection-blinding-drivers-and-causing-huge-traffic-pile-up thing or igniting a forest fire. um, oops.

I love this photo because of its colorful, whimsical vibe. at the end of a two-week staycation, I have a super shiny feeling I hope to carry through the month and expand on. I want to do a self portrait every week to see if I can pull it off.

now that's shiny.

let's take a look

the self-portrait challenge for july is "skill".

strong observation skills serve me well in my work as a child abuse investigator. through careful questioning, listening and visual observation, I see the big picture about a child's situation. I examine and draw conclusions about things ranging from physical conditions (such as distinguishing accidental from abusive injuries) to less concrete emotional indicators (a child's tentative words or fearful gestures). I often see and hear things that most people don't want to think about.

on the positive side (and there really is a positive side to my work) my observation skills help me work with families to identify and define things that are working well in their lives and how to use those strengths to work toward a safe and healthy family. a family's history is interesting to me and I'm curious about how they live their lives and why they make the decisions they do. I truly love looking for creative solutions that help children.

(see the alternative, not-so-serious version here. I was really having fun with the looking glass! this girl loves a prop.)

fresh ground

fresh ground, free trade, organic coffee enjoyed sunday morning at starlight cafe (plus fresh-out-of-bed conky hair!). see more freshness in may's self portrait challenge.

fresh ideas

may's self portrait challenge is fresh.

for me, the word fresh immediately conjures up the magical cerebral process of generating new ideas. my creative process consists of a trillion sparkling colorful new thoughts that flutter about my world like a swarm of butterflies. I am truly lucky when I can capture one piece of flighty brilliance, hold it in my hand, gaze upon it and wonder what this crisp new freshness can become.

cheeky girl

april's self portrait challenge is "absurd".

this one was difficult for me (and I'm not sure I've nailed it yet). absurdity doesn't seem to stand out to me, possibly because it's a big part of who I am and what I embrace. I love things that don't make sense, that are quirky and whimsical. I think quite a few people can easily find some absurdity in me and my life. and that's okay with me. when I was moving east from california, a friend was curious if I was concerned that easterners would find me weird because I was from california. then she said (with love), "I mean, you're weird here."

truly absurd was the time when I longed to be traditional, normal, safe, quiet. when I wanted to curl up with sameness and mediocrity, that place where no one ever wonders, "what's up with her?" I longed to be rid of baby apple cheeks set aglow by a silly grin and giggles that I couldn't seem to control. I wanted a mind that didn't distract me from the business of life with random questions like, "who made the rule that you can't wear bloomers after age 4?" and "what does Chewbacca carry in his purse?" and "what was the blond guy's name on Scooby-Doo?"

absurd was the time in my life when I had scars from biting the insides of my cheeks to keep from smiling at everything. I wanted to be sullen, colorless, invisible.

I'm not sure when I grew out of that; it happened gradually and naturally. I finally figured out that I can live near the fringe and still be accepted and loved in the real world (even in the east!). I like being the cheeky, smiling, laughing girl. I like being weird.

think twice

Self Portrait Challenge: Politics

I was born and raised as a Californian. A lot of people have a lot of ideas about what that means. What it means to me is that thinking and speaking and creating and changing are part of what it means to be human. On top of that, my parents taught me to do these things openly and honestly.

I now live in a community where I find myself thinking twice about saying what I think. Lynchburg is not only the home of the late Rev. Jerry Falwell and his followers, the community truly embraces the whole Southern Niceties thing. I never know the real truth. Worse for me is that I feel I cannot speak the truth and cannot share the vibrant energy of new ideas. It is better just to go along and be pleasant. Don't cause problems. Don't hurt feelings. And DON'T TRY TO CHANGE ANYTHING.