no news please

i can't tell you how many times in my life i've attempted to shut out the news.  i'm getting better at it.  i'm getting better at noticing that i am a better person without it. 

i am old enough to have witnessed the evolution of news, specifically television news.  my parents insisted that we were in touch with what was happening in our world, so we watched the thirty minute broadcast every evening.  the news was only on once per day and if you missed it, well then you would have to wait until tomorrow.  there was no cnn, only the three u.s. networks.  my family watched tom brokaw.  we never doubted that tom brokaw, in his calm fatherly voice, spoke the truth.

i remember the shifts, they began when i was still in high school with the shooting of president reagan and the space shuttle disaster. all of a sudden, it was all news all the time.   over the years, it just became more frenetic, loud and questionable.

when i must know (and i'm discovering that i really don't always need to know), i still tune in, but i almost always regret it.  the information is almost always conflicting, sensationalized, dumbed-down or mean.  during the ten days we were without power after the derecho, i discovered that the news was pretty much the most unhelpful thing on earth.  it's like they are so used to saying nothing really loud that they completely lost the capacity to provide real (boring) information to people.

so how do you stay in touch with your world without losing your mind?

here's what i do:

i watch and read smart parodies of the news, like the daily show and the onion. 

my car radio is tuned to npr.  i catch snippets of news between music and programs while going to and from destinations.

i trust that any information that i absolutely have to know for my own survival will find its way to me.  and real stories that inspire me find their way too.

i reread the manifesto penned by meg, specifically, "consume more art than news."

and then i remember that knowing about the events of the world really doesn't alter the way i live my life and serve the world.  the news doesn't call me to action.  i'm in action each day by the way i live my life.  knowing the gory details about face-eating or theatre massacres does not change that. 

anne lamott said it so brilliantly yesterday:

"where on earth do we go from here?

all I can think to do is what we've always done. we work towards peace and non-violence. we register voters. we create art and music in the face of madness. we light candles. the praying people pray: lord have mercy. the meditating people meditate. we create love and beauty as radical acts.  we take care of the poor, and teach people to read and write. and as molly ivins would urge us to do if she were still here, we bang our pans. we rise up, peacefully, take to the streets and we bang our pans and we make a ruckus, and we stop this war, too."

balancing intuition

i want to write a bit about the second, and my personal favorite, dichotomy on the myers-briggs type indicator:  intuition (n) and sensing (s).

if, like me, the second letter in your myers-briggs type is n, the type of information and experiences you most easily take in and trust are abstract, imaginative, theoretical.  people who prefer intuition trust their internal ideas, thoughts and instincts.  those who prefer intuition primarily use their own internal world's lens to experience the world.  they tend to be imaginative and visionary. 

people who prefer sensing, on the other hand, trust and like concrete, physical and known information and experiences.  people who prefer sensing primarily use their five senses (sight, touch, taste, sound and scent) to experience the world.  they tend to be grounded and solid.

one of the goals of the myers-briggs is to help people become aware of their inborn preferences so that they can actively seek balance in the opposite preferences for a fuller, richer life.

as a woman who strongly prefers intuition, i can stay in the beautiful and magical world in my head for hours and sometimes days.  i like to daydream, imagine, and ponder.  i relish and trust those fantastical flashes from my unconscious. 

to balance intuition, i need to seek more grounded experiences and focus on activities that engage my five senses.  the element that best incorporates all five senses for me is water:

seeing water:  the sight of the great blue sea makes me feel part of a big world that i can trust.  the straight blue horizon line reminds me that the world is perfectly balanced in space. 

smelling water:  the salt, the lives (fish, plants, sand, shells) it holds and nurtures.  the scent of clean.  the scent of childhood.

tasting water:  it tastes like nothing.  like space.  like emptiness.

hearing water:  one of my favorite sounds is the lonely drip of the faucet when i am lying in a quiet bath.  its perfect cadence and tone ground me in the physical world.  sometimes i submerge my head to lose myself in the underwater world of silence.  the drip softly penetrates that world and calls me back to surface.  to breathe.

touching water:  as it rolls across my skin, the dirt of life--both physical and emotional--is cleansed.  floating in water, my body is weightless and fluid and returns to its first environment.  its home environment.

how do you experience water?  

what are some ways you can live today through your five senses?

{beautiful water images are from my pinterest five senses board.}

if you are interested in a more spiritual and artful take on the myers-briggs, i'm in the process of creating a program.  please see here.  i'd love your thoughts and comments.

new and improved daily to-dos

1. move
2. nourish
3. breathe
4. clear
5. learn
6. create
7. love

quietly slipping in the side door, possibly late, and i don't have the answer

so. i'm working on a piece of art inspired by my word for 2011.  i fully intended to have it plastered up here today in all its colorful glory.  that didn't work out the way i had planned.  and i'm okay with that.

my word is balance.  this self-portrait substitutes nicely for the intended art.  for me, the meaning of balance includes many of my very favorite words:  beauty, love, rest, play, courage and grace.  this post is dedicated to achieving balance at work.  there are many areas in my life that need movement toward equilibrium, but the scales are dangerously tipped for me on the job.

my yoga teacher said something in class the other day that was entirely revolutionary for me.  you see, bikram yoga classes all follow the same dialogue and routine.  you can go to any bikram class anywhere in the world and you'll get the same 90 minutes.  my teacher said that this consistency and reliability is one of the draws to bikram for some personality types.  she said that some people find it meditative to just follow directions for 90 minutes.  this really rang true for me.  ninety minutes a day when i do not have to have an answer or make any decision other than to be fully present in my practice.  friends, this is heaven to me. 

i try not to think about how at work have to have all the answers to every question known to mankind.  i hadn't realized until then how totally weary i am of being in a position of authority.   or how heavily this responsibility weighs on me, especially when i feel it's not being shared.  and how resentful i am that some are perfectly happy to remain in low-to-no-responsibility roles (or not do the work to learn how to make accurate decisions) and expect me to have the final say (sometimes with limited information) and to absorb the blame if things don't work out as expected.  keep in mind that in my work, a mistake can lead to a child being hurt or potentially killed.  we have to get it right.  no wonder i'm the dragon lady. 

enter balance.

i plan on shifting into a more supportive, less authoritative role in these work relationships. this may mean that i can no longer have or do the job i currently have.  we'll see.  in this moment, i choose to be hopeful that i can foster a team in which wisdom, decision-making and accountability are shared.  while i'm certain my fiery nature and quick-wit will never fully recede, i'm happy to evolve into less medieval monster, more puff (as in the magic dragon).  i'm open to the understanding that this could mean blissfully flying off into the sunset while someone else takes over the hot seat.

are you choosing a word for the new year?

sparkle+fade

happy friday beautiful friends!

it's so lovely to have arrived at the end of this week. one more extra long work day fielding and managing interesting changes and new directions {can you detect the euphemism?} and then it's all about old french films, getting lost in a few stories, catching up with mia, making something and maybe a few luxurious naps.

my work and my life are becoming increasingly polarized. I'm curious if this signals the elusive achievement of balance or a dilemma that requires me to choose.

learning to love balance

I so admire people who seem to float through life with relative ease: calm without being numb, assertive without being loud, kind while still being truthful. people who are balanced amaze me. since I am one who tends toward the extremes, being (or shall I say appearing?) balanced demands a significant amount of energy from me, so I know that "ease" is not always part of the deal.

in yoga, I can achieve balance. while others in the class wobble and fall, I can maintain stillness in the pose. so I was thinking about the principles applied in yoga and if they would also apply to life and emotional balance:

• know and see in your mind's eye the pose you are going to execute►be clear in intention
• solidly root and ground your body►operate from a position of truth and love
• move into the pose step by step►be deliberate with words and language
• once in the pose, locate and focus on one thing with your eyes►maintain presence in the exchange; listen
• feel for and engage areas of counterbalance►consider alternatives; remain open
• be strong►be fearless
• be steady►accept disagreement
• be the pose (eagle, dolphin, firefly, halfmoon)►be genuine and beautiful
• hold the pose►take the time to achieve equilibrium
• breathe►breathe

I was right, balance is hard work. but I know I must work at it until I get it right. practice, practice, practice; just like in yoga.