it is so good in there

"yoga is ninety-nine percent practice and one percent theory."  

k. pattabhi jois

yesterday i enjoyed enlightening and inspiring conversation with cyndi lee.  our discussions often take place over cappuccinos and chocolates and integrate our experiences of yoga, spirituality, art and our west coast upbringings with our individual journeys through this lovely life.  cyndi's unique alchemy of intelligence, humor, support and tell-it-like-it-is wisdom is such a gift as i explore my weird reluctance to get my ass on my yoga mat.

i confessed that i prefer to be inside my head most of the time.  i love taking in information through observations and learning from many sources and tucking each bit away in the jewel box of my mind (which in my world is synonymous with my soul).  i spend hours in there tending to each precious piece, admiring the unique qualities of each and experimenting with them in pairs and groups.  how do they metamorphose as the light travels through the day and illuminates a different facet of each? how does each new addition change the color or value of the previous inhabitants?  as an introverted intuitive, i love it in there.  the (endless) process of contemplation and understanding is my comfort zone.  real world experiences, including yoga class, often fall short of how rich and glorious they were in my head.

driving home, i had this sudden realization that i prefer theory (the stuff that takes place in my head) over practice (the stuff that takes place on the mat).  and when i write "sudden", i mean that i intuitively knew this already and i have said the words a million times, but it finally made perfect and simple sense.  you know those experiences where you can intellectually know something for years and then one day, usually following the warm reflection and attention of another, you just get it?  yes, that.

is there a way i can make the physical practice of yoga as beautiful as the mental contemplation of yoga?

practice.  attention.  practice.  attention:  the navigation of the crowd as we organize our shoes and stuffs.  the hard give of the wood floor under my bare feet.  the snap of the mat as it unrolls. the light warm pressure of palms coming together.  the voice of my teacher.  the structure of bone. the soft pull and resistance of muscle and tendon.  that shaft of sunlight tempting my gaze from the line of my warrior's arrow.  the fear of falling.  the accomplishment of not.  these are the real experiences of my yoga. they deserve my focus and i need to honor them.  what are the unique qualities of each moment?  how does each moment work with the previous moment to become a practice? how does each new moment of courage, each tiny increment of skill, each failure alter the entirety of the experience? how does my practice metamorphose as the light of each new posture, each new class illuminates it?

i'm on my way down the hall to explore.

gratitude: week five

• my intuition.  so far the best thing about getting older is becoming more attuned to her wisdom and voice.
• attention to aesthetic. 
• an open and curious mind.
• staying vegetarian when i'm craving steak au poive, fish tacos, chicken pot pie.
• flexibility (i'm leaving the door open for the fish tacos).

jumpstart

autumn is my new year.  i've said it before and each year it becomes more clear.  it's in the air dancing with the tiny golden leaves, crisp breezes and soft scent of campfire:  change.  it is the time for renewal and transition and jumpstarting.  do you feel this way too?

last night i was lucky to be a part of my friend and squam cabinmate jess greene's jumpstart creativity tour.  (side note:  i swear wayonda 2009 was the magic cabin.)  i am so in awe of jess and have been endlessly inspired by her ideas and journey.  she's travelling around the country, stopping at different cities to get people making art.  (what?!  i know!)  there are a few east coast cities left on the tour.  go if you get the opportunity.  you will be happy you did.

over the last few months, i've been pulling together materials for my myers-briggs for artists program and i am endlessly fascinated with the concept of intuition.  my intuition (in this context defined as my worldview and what i know and trust to be true) was smothered in my prior job.  since leaving, i'm exploring letting my intuition run wild, seeing what unfolds, playing with the ideas and imaginations that come up, living my intuition.  it just feels good.  and true.

i've also been exploring my apache heritage, a long-ignored but essential part of who i am.  this little piece is my touchstone honoring the connections between intuition, creating, culture and the wild spirits of my ancestors.

paper scissors paint glue

my myers-briggs type is intj.  this means that my dominant preference is intuition (n) and my inferior preference is sensing (s). 

when it comes to art i can dream (intuit) about it all day long:  the idea of art, the multiple layers of story behind any given piece, the process of creating, what color, aesthetic and form mean to the existence of humankind, the complexities of the artistic life.  the art world inside my head is mindblowing. 

my physical senses need to be engaged (the doing) to step outside my preference (the daydreaming) and bring balance to my artful life.  which means i have to get out of my head and step up to my art table.  this is uncomfortable for me.  all those supplies, tools and techniques are daunting.  but to be an artist, not just think like one, i have to see and choose color, hold a brush in my hand, dab paint with my fingers, scribble, hear the tear of the paper, choose the spot on the canvas, do too much, paint it white, start over, keep the message simple, quit before i overthink it.

this concept of approaching art through myers-briggs is changing everything for me.  i can't wait to share it with you. 

later i'll talk a bit about the reverse process for artists who prefer sensing.

in the meantime, live brightly.

balancing intuition

i want to write a bit about the second, and my personal favorite, dichotomy on the myers-briggs type indicator:  intuition (n) and sensing (s).

if, like me, the second letter in your myers-briggs type is n, the type of information and experiences you most easily take in and trust are abstract, imaginative, theoretical.  people who prefer intuition trust their internal ideas, thoughts and instincts.  those who prefer intuition primarily use their own internal world's lens to experience the world.  they tend to be imaginative and visionary. 

people who prefer sensing, on the other hand, trust and like concrete, physical and known information and experiences.  people who prefer sensing primarily use their five senses (sight, touch, taste, sound and scent) to experience the world.  they tend to be grounded and solid.

one of the goals of the myers-briggs is to help people become aware of their inborn preferences so that they can actively seek balance in the opposite preferences for a fuller, richer life.

as a woman who strongly prefers intuition, i can stay in the beautiful and magical world in my head for hours and sometimes days.  i like to daydream, imagine, and ponder.  i relish and trust those fantastical flashes from my unconscious. 

to balance intuition, i need to seek more grounded experiences and focus on activities that engage my five senses.  the element that best incorporates all five senses for me is water:

seeing water:  the sight of the great blue sea makes me feel part of a big world that i can trust.  the straight blue horizon line reminds me that the world is perfectly balanced in space. 

smelling water:  the salt, the lives (fish, plants, sand, shells) it holds and nurtures.  the scent of clean.  the scent of childhood.

tasting water:  it tastes like nothing.  like space.  like emptiness.

hearing water:  one of my favorite sounds is the lonely drip of the faucet when i am lying in a quiet bath.  its perfect cadence and tone ground me in the physical world.  sometimes i submerge my head to lose myself in the underwater world of silence.  the drip softly penetrates that world and calls me back to surface.  to breathe.

touching water:  as it rolls across my skin, the dirt of life--both physical and emotional--is cleansed.  floating in water, my body is weightless and fluid and returns to its first environment.  its home environment.

how do you experience water?  

what are some ways you can live today through your five senses?

{beautiful water images are from my pinterest five senses board.}

if you are interested in a more spiritual and artful take on the myers-briggs, i'm in the process of creating a program.  please see here.  i'd love your thoughts and comments.