in or out

it's that time of year when I can't decide if I want to play outside with the dogs in the last days of sunshine and green or cozy up inside with a cup of chai, cashmere socks and a good book* (or do some art). which do you choose?

*thanks to a friend from camp, have now moved into my second go 'round with young adult literature. let's hope this one ends better than twilight.

mosaic monday

let's go to the fair!

I grew up in an agriculture town so the county fair was a big big deal. I haven't found an east coast fair yet that has the same dustyfunk mojo and I'm tempted every september to hop a plane just to experience my hometown extravaganza of rides, games, food (not many other fairs have basque roasted lamb sandwiches on the best sourdough bread known to man) and animals.

nonetheless, any fair sparks the nostalgia for me with their unique mixes of color, sounds, smells and the ubiquitous racing pigs. come on along. and please don't rock the ferris wheel bucket.

{see happy flickr fairgoers here.}

oh hello there autumn

you tiptoed in while I was luxuriating in my post-squam deliciousness. you have no idea how happy I am to see you. while I enjoy spending time with your friend summer, this year's version was a wee bit harsh for me. I'm looking forward to you wrapping me in your colorful coziness as only you can do. let's get on with it, shall we?

{photo of beautiful shannon in her amazing teal green boots was captured at her shop bittersweet mercantile, the most luscious space to dress for fall.}

view finder

last spring when I discovered this sweet soul was teaching a through-the-viewfinder photography class at squam, all ambivalence about attending was squelched. I've long admired ttv images for their blur, scratches, and unexpected flashes of light but found myself challenged time and time again to make it work. no better way to learn than from the master. the little magic genius brought bright colorful props across the country to the woods of new hampshire. I just love her.

this class was the high-point of "formal" learning for me at squam. it was also nice to discover that hula is just as beautiful, friendly and down-to-earth funky in real life as she represents online. and another type of learning was taking place for me in my other classes and just existing in the magnificence of squam and with its people.

I learned from lovely gentle wise jen that my protected heart may be necessary right now just as the candy-coated shell of an m&m makes sense. she just let me be.

I learned from my girls in wayonda that friendships can happen in an instant. that kindred spirits find each other and the right people show up at just the right time.

I learned that my view of the world has shifted ever so softly.

I seek and view resonance and truth and vibrancy and connection. I love the view through my lens: it has a bit of a blur, some scratches and unexpected flashes of light.

hello campers

welcome to squam.

this is a magical place where you will shed layers of constriction and fear. here you have permission to be open and joyful and safe. you are now free to explore and take your alter-ego/inner artist/childlike soul out for a ride.

for a few days, you will meander through a labyrinth of wooded paths speckled by the autumn sun trickling through a canopy of trees. the soundtrack for this weekend includes the amazing songs of loons, laughter, musical love and the muffled delight of the dance party at the cabin next door.

girls with cameras...all kinds of cameras...will be a familiar sight. we love our photographs here at squam.

make some art.

make a beautiful sparkly mess.

celebrate that which you create.

each cabin is filled to its knotty pine rafters with summer-campy nostalgia, lifelong friends and magnificent views.

you have your own pier suitable for yoga at sunrise...

...and collaborative stargazing in the pitch black of night {no. 21 off the list!}.

you will meet amazing women with so much courage and talent and beauty it will make your heart burst.

go on ahead and play.

did I mention girls with cameras?

oh and by the way, I need to warn you about the air here: it's filled with this magical energy that will soak your entire being with light and love and risk and trust and friendship and art. please consider it a gift to you, a souvenir to carry with you forever and always.

autumn is the new spring

raise your hand if your season of renewal and growth starts in september.

I'm off for a few days on an adventure of art and discovery. love to you all.

mosaic monday

books are the best salve for a girl worn raw by the world. I am so grateful for those who take the story from their head and conjure up a pool of words so that I can dive into its deep end and forget, release, escape, heal.

{flickr love here.}

sunday sweetness

this sunday is much sweeter than last. on friday, I (kind of) cleaned off my desk, set the out-of-office reply on my email and delegated my general vessel-of-crap-and-horror duties to my senior staff for ten days. as of this sunday morning at 7am, I can feel the grip beginning to release. it generally takes a few days for the shell of protection to melt away before I can feel truly open and safe.

here are a few things accelerating the melt:

• yesterday, I roamed the art store with my squam supply list. I felt like a little kid doing back-to-school shopping. the paints and artist palette scare me a bit, I've never really done a painting. nonetheless, I felt all artist-y, which is so much better than vessel-of-crap-and-horror-y.
• sweet little girls with a homemade lemonade stand on the corner.
• this plaid hat. I need this. badly.
• feeling sweet anticipation for this movie.
• friday night, I believe I actually saw the faint outlines of the milky way!
• susannah introduced me to style statement and I have to say that I love this book. I really want to get the consultation too; it might be on my birthday wish list. anyway, the book is a lovely exploration of the authentic you, with the premise being that the more you are living your real life and being your real self, the more natural every aspect of your life will fit and flow and be projected onto others. through a series of questions (I'll share some at a later date because I love the questions) you discover a pair of words that truly form the essence of who you are. the first word is really your core, your values, your true self and forms 80% of you. the second word is what you give to the world through your actions, your style, your art, your expression.
• I am: genuine. bold.
• I believe these sweet shoes express genuine and bold, no?
• speaking of susannah, I am grateful for a spot in her new exploring the senses class. can't wait! and jeez did you ever have to be johnny-on-the-spot to secure a place. I am so happy for her success.
• I got this because I get very dehydrated on the plane. I love the packaging on all philosophy products, but this one really spoke to me: "your soul is timeless, ageless, and free of all physical boundaries and limitations. your soul is not subject to illness, discrimination or grief. your true home is a spiritual mansion where hope springs eternal. you are your own fountain of youth."

on that lovely note, I wish you all a sweet and sunny sunday.

brains + beauty

these penguin classics illustrated by ruben toledo make me all swoony.

if you need some lovely

be a part of the beckoning of lovely. the website is now live.

mosaic monday

since I have a wee bit of an impulse issue when it comes to shopping, nothing makes me happier (and prevents the dreaded afterspree shame) than favoriting lovely things on etsy. this way, I get to "have" before I actually buy. time goes by and if I still love them, I go ahead and purchase.

here are a few things hanging out on my list. some of them have been sold, which makes me sad, but I'm learning to accept that they were meant to belong to another girl with a heart full of wishes.

• I live for vintage cateye glasses.
• royal buffet rocks my world with their paper creations.
• stacking rings in a perfect color grouping for autumn.
• sometimes my inner ragamuffin demands to be dressed. she wants this for fall sundays strolling at farm and flea markets.
• like carrying around a tiny bit of the ocean.
• sometimes my inner maggie the cat demands to be dressed. I'll take that with a bourbon. straight up.
• just yes.
• gypsy jewels.
• and then there's my inner audrey. she needs a new purse.

p.s. progress report here.

sunday sweetness

every now and then I need a weekly blog commitment to keep me showing up here with some energy that is pure and forward moving. the intention is that sunday sweetness helps me to focus on the good, the profound, the stunning. sweetness is defined here as those people, things, thoughts and emotions that carry simple yet sublime and transformative beauty, experience and meaning. (since I often vent about the southern faux sugar sticky sweetness that haunts me on a daily basis, I felt a clear definition of sweet was important. look at that, I've already soiled sunday sweetness with a touch of bitter. redirect.) kind of like a sensory-linky-gratefulness fest. please join me if you'd like, the more real sweetness the better.

• end-of-summer sunshine has a bit of a fade on its brilliance. I like that. all that work left it a bit jaded and more the wiser.
• my hair stylist is amazing. when you have short hair, you really know how important it is to have someone who knows what they're doing.
• rare tuna with mango salsa.
• nurse jackie.
• florence + the machine.
• once again, yoga. it saves me every single time.
• the journey to equanimity is rough. I know it's my true path because I keep coming back to it as my desired destination. I am so far away...
• while on the rough road to equanimity, it helps when I find a three-yard remnant of gorgeous upholstery fabric (mod funky stripes!) that originally cost $75/yard for $5/yard.
• sweet storybook abodes.
• sweet storyteller.

randomness

• so far, september's astrological forecast is spot on. I have already moved into defended autopilot soldier-on mode. (you can tell by how I'm holding my mouth in this photo. mia calls it "mad mom mouth". I have no inkling of a poker face.)
• I secretly take silly facebook quizzes. I never post them.
• I took "which superhero are you?". the result: the amazing enigma. I like that.
• also, I should be living in paris and I am alice cullen.
• I couldn't make my way through the book astrid & veronika last year and now I'm struggling with the girl with the dragon tattoo. I can't think of any reason why I would carry this weird disinterest in the swedish; I figure it must be that the landscape, culture, language, names are so radically different than anything I've ever known. familiarity and emotional connection in literature is almost mandatory for me to enjoy a book. I have to be able to "see" the story. no offense to lovely sweden, I'm certain if I was born there, los angeles would appear to be alien territory.
• or it could be that I'm just really, really disagreeable and grumpy.
• for the last few weeks, I've have no creative energy or interest. zilch. is this what if feels like to be dead?
• I am learning the hard way that in my town (well, maybe it's just my workplace, but I doubt it) females must be either supersweet, stupid, silent or sneaky to be successful. I'm doomed.
• this song came on my ipod this morning while I was running. I could not stop the tears that demanded to fall. while I love when words and music radically resonate with my current situation, I much prefer this to happen in private with an ample supply of kleenex, not on a public road surrounded by the town's running population. embarrassing.
• tune in next week to see the how the amazing enigma escapes her funk and paints rainbows and butterflies throughout the land.

girl crush

everything about her inspires me.

incognito

it's simply a nice way of saying I'm totally shirking responsibilities lately.

*my horoscope for september is absolutely dreadful. I do believe that the choices we make shape our lives and that astrological energy is a marginal player; however, the horoscope coupled with mercury going retrograde most of the month has me thinking I want to stay behind the rabbit mask and find a rabbit hole.